There are local and european elections coming up and I don’t feel like enough people care.
I totally get it that government doesn’t feel like it works at the moment, this coalition are all power happy liars, but I still think we need to care, and that means we need to vote. The most interesting point that the anti-Europe lobby has is that it is some disembodied room of strangers, far away, dictating to us, who we don’t even know. Well that means whether you want to be in the EU or not, we need to get to know it and that means we need to vote.
Democracy only works if the people we have the option of voting for don’t lie about what they will do if they get power. That’s why the lib dems are fucked. People talk about the danger that Farage represents, but at least he’s obviously and openly evil. Clegg has done more damage to our trust in any potential leaders, by choosing power over promises, than Farage could do even if one day, he actually got any votes. But then who needs votes if you’re going to get as much air time as Clare Balding even without any.
Clegg is like Littlefinger and Farage is a White Walker.A, no doubt, exclusively-White Walker. An exclusively straight, White Walker.
But despite the fact we can’t trust any of the centre-right politicians in the main parties I don’t think that means we shouldn’t vote. As long as there is ideology and discourse and a belief in democracy being the fairest type out of all the even more flawed alternatives (what does Russell Brand actually want? A bofftocracy?)… we have to vote. And there is still ideology and it’s not complicated. There are goodies and baddies. Greens and UKIP. The former will appeal to the hopeful, the optimistic, the diverse and the compassionate and the latter to the racist, elitist and most worryingly to the scared and hungry. Unfortunately there are a disproportionate number of scared, hungry people at the moment. SO… so that we don’t end up with a neo-nazi government whose party colour is purple in honour of all their gouty noses then all the people in the middle or who believe in anything other than big gay floods, or even people who can’t decide if they’re interested should get fucking interested and start piping up.
The word vote comes from the Latin for to vow or to wish. You have to wish. Imagine you’re a kid and your Dad brings out your cake with the candles on it, everyone’s singing and giving you the three cheers and it gets to you blowing out the candles and you don’t. Are you that lazy? Or you can’t think of anything that you want? Seriously? You already think everything that should be, is? I don’t believe you.
Or maybe you just don’t think you’ve got the time or the energy. You do though, because believe me, if anyone can’t be arsed it is me, and I bother voting. There are some ways in which I’m so lazy would frustrate a student, but I still vote.
I never quite close again, any cupboard that I open. But I do bother to vote.
I change my bedsheets once every month, or so. That’s right. Or so. But I vote.
Sometimes I wear the same pants two days in a row just because I went to sleep in them and it’s quicker than changing them. But I still vote.
I haven’t brushed my hair since 1997. But I still vote.
Once, so that I could stay sat exactly where I was, I blew my nose in a tea-towel. Yep. Actually did that. As an adult. I wasn’t even on my own. But I still vote. YOU CAN DO IT BY POST.
So you can be arsed.
God I hope my Mum doesn’t read this. Becuase she already votes. That and the bit about the tea-towel.